en-trenched musings of the scholarly- scared soldier

so changes are in order
congratulations maybe not
its too late, says, one side...the other...you childishly optimistic dreamer..but oh so sweet tongued, suspected but tempting,tempting liar
but never say never forever
come on just pull the damned trigger
and alice will fall, and the rabbit will run
and mad hatter shall look in the eye the midday sun
the eyes will follow, and self be seen
need to adjust the blotted screen
was that the gunfire sounding sound of trials?
the soldier read the map, but boy, did it it read all wrong
the clock ticks, so precious every hour
its time..has been,for long,forlon....
so july rush and charge,skirmish no more, lists and all
collect the dues of last spring, summer and fall
winter was, still is and likely to not give up...cloudy with chance of waterfalls..
ammunition- faulty
motivation- check
direction- check
desperation- check
support- negligible
need- plenty
time - short supply
so hike ahead, take the trek, the cautious tread
this time ultimatum
henceforth pity gives in to fear,real battles fairy dust
the talisman broken, lifeboat rocks....swimming is the only way to the shore
henceforth the words no longer dark deep windows
shelves more like it,tracks and fishing tackle
the ship shall sail, and sink it wont
this time its different
this time its war...

- inging it

Blinding and binding in kindness and minding
losing and finding and losing yet again in finding
in knowings and musings , of unwilling pretending
of hating and waiting and loooking without seeing
amusing and abusing all in the same renderings
in mingling and singings, that give rise to tinglings
meandering in windings, of unfinished tidings
of tryings and askings while un-feeling felt feelings
in sighings and laughings and giggling away cryings
in lightings and darkenings and bad bad timing
and beginnings and bendings with endings in
softly sweetly killings

this is the first one and as firsts usually go..i am unsure of wahat i know or do not know,,its not always easy to speak your mind when even thinking aloud may attract a fine.. for know i am content to sit back and watch..as life rides by on galloping horse ..soon however i will catch up you see and maybe words wont fail me..music ,poetry,love and friends...war and tears and dust and grime along the way..it all adds up..or at least it should..thats what is supposed to be our truth. a balanced equation though might be a bore ..a few unruly elements ..a few volatile..a dash of seasoning to the brew...thats what i hope to see,feel,taste..whats lifeithout a few deroutes. for now its enogh to say just this..next time i will ,i shall ,i sure hope to speak