off the merry go round

one fine day i wake up sleeping
oblivious to your song
my heart and curtains that had been shredded
in the dawn light reborn
as the ground beneath my feet stop spinning
i see your dazzlingly colourless merry-go-round
have your new shoes, and games and parties
keep running towards the glittering, beckoning calls,
would rather have my unshapely hopes, and fears and falls
my closed circles, my square shoulders, my empty wallet and heart
for lately i have seen, and measured, and shudder to think
how hard the fall from that spinning high horse would have been
what late stabbings would have taken these vessels apart,
if life had not played its wisely cruel part.